https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HqyEfYE8Vw

It actually being a wile i did create a journal and wrote some stuff down.

Being honest with all of you, i got a lot of thinking lately and its also september, by now, which is overall not a "good" time for me. Around this time (very soon in fact...) my dad would have had his birthday if...well... hes did die some years ago and than the fact that just some days after, a good friend of mine died some years ago as well... makes the time for me pretty hard right now.

The last years, i went through a lot shit, being honest with you. like, literally all the last years, i lost either something big OR someone "big" to me.

My father, good friends, my dog, my family home...

That i need a moment for myself around this time is... i think somewhat... you know...

Overall, this stuff keeps right now "nagging" on my motivation and daily work (and similar). as of late, i dont feel well - not because of "im sick/ i have in infection" or something... its more my mental state right now. depression can be a bitch if you wanna call it that way.

I do have some ideas but you might noticed already, art (or my stuff in general) is kinda slow by now so i hope that excuses my "state" right now.

I know, i dont have to tell you guys everything basically since i only do my stuff for me and the people which enjoy it - i still think the ones which DO watch me, follow my stuff and enjoy it should know about.

Next to my mental state, im also worried about my money right now. Yes, its odd to say but as of right now, im r e a l l y running low on my money i even saved up.

I still can get myself food on the table and pay the bills but... yea, thats basically it. Im in dire need of a new mobile phone as for one sample but cant get one new (or even second-hand) one right now since i dont have the money for it - same as for other stuff i dont even wanna mention here.

Next to this, since i "had to" move out of my said lost family home...

I had no contact to my said "rest" of the family, they basically left me sitting here with no help from their side... and its not like i tried to contact my brothers, sister and mother... if it was viva text on mobile or letters, i got no answer so far like they are basically happy that im "where i am" right now, i guess.

This...is kinda depressing being honest... and than that all the other stuff adds up to this "so great" situation... i mean you can see that i might need a "good rest" but than there are my money problems which already let me not sleep well... good i think i need to think about the situation but yea...

I will try to "go and get up" over the next days i guess, as i said i do have ideas for art and even a good game (though if not the said money or time problems) but i have to clear and cheer myself up i guess.

If you wanna help me, again, every comment is welcome - or if you really wanna, i dont beg for that but a donation would be grateful of course. i do have a paypal ( dark120@gmx.net ) or my Ko-Fi ( https://ko-fi.com/watheanum ) if you really help me out with a tip. Not asking for it nor forcing but again, would be helpful of course.

Hope everyone of course has a better time than me right me ^^ Stay tuned :3