https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deR1B-bAwBo

It doesnt surprise me anymore that if you talk honesty to some people they dont respont anymore but just block you only because of the fear that what people might leave on their page as comment is true.

The biggest grind is also the fact that i cant "name" them because it would be name-shaming and for a lot pages im on its a no-go and that even proofs more my point of people enjoying thier anonymity a bit to much, at least in "this cases" if you wanna talk about someone but cant name them, if you got that.

So said here, i dont wanna rage myself into a mess but i try to keep it short. I got blocked by 2 "super nice" artists for making hints or telling the dark truth in their faces:

- Using stuff you dont own or nor have the rights for using them is bad. People dont support -you- for -your- art but because you keep drawing something they wanna see - a copyrighted characters ass n titis.

This is a long running thing already and im sure people which watch me will be like "here we go again" because even im growing sick of it but this week, i got basically blocked for mentioning that the artist...lets call him "mr R", should stop using copyrighted characters for his own but could insteed use its own creations because im sure he has the knowledge of it - nah, i got blocked without a word. This shows me only that some patreon artists doesnt "want" to create their own stuff but only milk the newest characters till the last drop. Im 100% sure everone knows which characters i DO mean and i dont need to name samples or artists - again even if i would, its name-shaming again so i dont.

- A lot people struggle in life to get or earn money to survive or even pay for a sudden bigger "event" which sadly (for the most part) happend in their life wile other artists begging here for money just to get one of its ocs drawn in a...lets say "special way".

Yes, this is something i also dont like but people wink it of that people like me are just "envy" or similar. Let me use a sample, a personal.

Last year, my father died. i was, and still am, in a bad situation which basically breaks my mental health to a limit and my pysical health is basically "non existend" - at least at this point. Earning money "in this state" is basically not possible - just go out and ask for someone for a job with basically pysical problems which go so far that you would just kill yourself for standing in the wrong place. Im sure you will get a job super fast~

So that i basically was asking for money to pay for my dads funeral was a no-go for me but i had to - and before this sounds wrong here, guys, im still happy people helped me out for every single euro i got. Srsly, at the end i was literally crying that i basically sold myself in the internet and went that deep that i actually "begged" people to get money. Sure, it was a thing to understand, i had to pay a funeral and i sure had not the money for it...but than at the other end of the pages you have accounts on you see people, opening a donation to get their fucking OCs preggo for 2.000 Bucks.

I hope someone can understand the frustration level there. Some people went BALLS deep to actually even "thinking" to beg for money because they are in real need of it...wile other people go this mile i guess...

Be 100% legit here: Who would you help?

Someone who really needs your money for something really really important

Or porn?

Be 100% legit here because im sure a lot would go for the porn.

Anyway. As i said before i dont wanna go into this to deep but only wanted you guys to share my thoughts of the week. It feels more and more like that im right to say im glad im not part of this fandom because of this shit. I cant "blame" all and everyone for this 2 ones but than again, im sure they are a lot more which would do 100% the same to someone "like me", who might has not a big name on its tag but sure a long history to write - which, at this point, i might even have the will to write down but than, name shaming will be a thing for sure since i hate it to put a leaf infront of my mouth only to kneel down and obey the fake-masquarade a lot pages and this so called "furry fandom" (for the most pages im on) is playing...its getting really sick and im sick of it anyway.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/586403097106972672/979521054101889225/unknown.png

*A friend of mine to wile we had a conversation about "most patreon artists" and i said*

Me: you know, most patreon artist relays on the creativity of other, mostly smaller artists. i mean those are the ones which create the stuff they use to earn money.

My Friend: Wow wow wow. You cant say that. I mean if you go saying it THAT way, it would be the same if i say homosexual relays on hetrosexual people because they cant reproduce and need those for their base to exist.

Me: *just waiting there in silence*

My Friend: ...wait...

XD we had a good day i guess

I dont wanna point fingers here but the problem is i kinda use some only as samples just to see how stupid and idiotic the literal double standards of the page is - again, no hate against the creators of said or shown stuff but it feels like if someone "else" does that, stuff gets taken down by the mods and admins WHICH is right to do so because youre using something which is against the rules but than, if you look around, a lot people STILL dont care and upload it - and it STAYS on Newgrounds.

SO yea, about that...

"Dont use copyrighted music or we get the stuff you uploaded down from here!"

• 

  Road Safety for Deer

  by MaximizedAnimation

  I found this comic dub a while back and thought it was so funny I decided to animate it.

  Movie

  1,095 Views

  (Everyone)

• 

  Who can it be now!?

  by Alakamame

  Silly omori animation, watch it, it gets spoilery

  Movie

  4,470 Views

  (Ages 13+)

• 

  Sierra Reflection

  by POSTBOY

  idk

  Movie

  1,758 Views

  (Everyone)

About that...

"Dont upload screenshots!" (here said i tried to upload myself some and they got deleted so i know what im talking about)

Just look for "Secondlife" here as ONE sample and viola~

https://www.newgrounds.com/search/conduct/art?sort=date-desc&suitabilities=etma&terms=secondlife

A hole bunch of pictures from Secondlife...

Again, those are just some samples but this literally feels like a fucking double standard. You cant take stuff down just from SOME people and from other people, it stays for the same fucking reason the other persons stuff got taken down.

This is called a double standard ffs. Stop this bullshit. If its in the rules and against it, it should be taken down - everyone on this page should be handled equally and has the same rules to obey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL_XuIbRUEY

Ok im honest here, April was a month which went horrible for me, at least for myself as in here at my place. I dont wanna here begin with a long wall of text "already" but people which MIGHT remember the "ID post" i made on my FA account saw that i was really so down that, in other words, wouldnt be sitting here writting. Yes, i was actually "that close" to end it all since i couldnt take jackshit anymore. They were days in April where i was sitting on my bed and asked myself "why" at all. In "why" do i even exist anymore or similar questions.

I tried to come back up at least a little bid and now i feel slightly better - at least over all im a bit more happy and relaxed but still not over the hill with this crap.

But i try to get my head elsewhere with my drawings or doing some work on other stuff, like my games as for one good sample.

With that in mind, last month i did already create a smaller, new game just for easter to enjoy - namely "Fly-Attack" which is a homage to "Gnat-Attack" from the good old Mario Paint. I enjoyed working on this game tbh and its still a fun timewaster. In fact, i thought about to updated ones again this month with new flies to swatt heh. I already got some ideas for new flies so stay tuned if you enjoy this game.

As for another game, i created finally something like a preview trailer for Daredevil 2 which you can check out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehhpKRll-k4

I tried to work on this one as well but have still to wait for some sprite art for the bosses. It still comes along pretty good and now, nearly the shop is done as well and a working savestate is also there. the problem is as always "when it will be done", i duno but i still enjoy how far it went heh.

-----

As for other stuff, here said i know that April was really an oddball for my artwork overall since i barely really drawn characters im more known for or pretty much nearly none of my "usual" characters. Sure i drawn some but like none of my fluffy furry girls (ex. Faly) didnt make it this month. To be honest, i needed a change of pace and it helped me to calm and work on my design for most characters - overall i still drawn sure some pictures people enjoy and some of my "lesser drawn characters". That said, i noticed some people want me to come back with more Spy Vs Spy art which is true, i dont draw much of as right now. Its not that i dont want to, more the fact that i need "fitting" ideas for them so here said: Ideas for my said Spy Vs Spy characters are sure welcome and would bring them back for sure.

As for SAID ideas i have which i could draw is maybe a Bikini series? I mean my idea letter is kinda "empty" since all i wanted to draw is now done - last on the list was the bad luck kitty (and that i think about some Spy Vs Spy ideas) X3

So yea, duno! We will see i guess.

as for my health, i still have my wound on my leg but i bandage it so its not that terrible anymore and feels better. It might will never really heal 100% but at least i try to take care about it more (tbh, since the beginning of this year i try to and i try better things which work different. my doc also couldnt do much different stuff than just banadge it so yea, now i do it myself). So we will see how that works out.

As for how all stuff is...

As i said, i still have my moments but i try to come over them. Its nice that i found some new friends viva an old friend of mine already which are nice to talk to. It also seems they like my art and told me im "way to underrated". I mean, again, i never say im a "super good artist" or something but if i think about i draw now over 17 years...heh, i think im doing good so if you enjoy what im doing im happy but always remember, comments, critique and feedback is always welcome. :D

Well i guess i can again just sign and begin another "short" vent here. Yes, its just a short one because i dont have much to write about it and it will basically explain itself.

I mean, lately, it feels like A LOT artists went into the theretory of draw "deformed" female characters which look like "Bimbos" and, basically, have a HUGE deformed and WAY to big ass and, for the most part, way to big breasts.

IF you need a sample what im talking abou, go with something like this just drawn:

https://palegirlproductions.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/sking_.-katena-2019-hd-bimbo.png

The problem is not that "people have different kinks than you" and "youre just shaming them now", No...this is not the problem or "main" problem i have with this.

The REAL problem is: IF they go into NSFW theretory with this characters, THEY DONT DO SHIT with "WHAT" they have!

WHY the FUCK do i give a character TITS BIGGER THAN THEIR HEAD IF YOU DONT DO SHIT WITH THOSE???

Its not the fact that people actually "enjoy" this shit but more the fact that the creators of SUCH character basically dont even USE "what" the characters have - SO WHY THE FUCK EVEN DRAWING THEM THIS WAY?

Srsly, how do this characters even "define" gravity? How the fuck do they live? And dont come with "oh they are just drawn" FUCK that, they are created so you can fondle your DICK in your hands so there SHOULD be a reason to ask this shit.

God dang it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk2v3HxbMAI

Well march is over and we head now to april, easter month and here said i have some important stuff to say:

A bit ago it seems like gamejolt from ALL the places changed their TOS as for "what" kind of games you will be able to download there - In short, they listed my 3 adult games "privat" so i from what i know is that noone can see them if they are not directly linked to them - next to this thier pages WILL be deleted ones and for all at the end of this year, making the games not more downloadable in the slightest because they will be deleted.

So in case you STILL want my games - and in hope the links still work - i link to you the 3 games i made:

- SPACE HUNT

You can still play it on my Newgrounds just in case but if you wanna a downloadable version:

https://gamejolt.com/games/Space-Hunt/639951

- Shade Runner

The first of all games i made in this kind, it was a bonus game i made for the furiotic pack as extra ones - maybe you remember. Still, you can get it here:

https://gamejolt.com/games/Shade-runner/383341

- StarVixen

The one which got the most love and attention since it is actually a pretty nice shooter i ones made - sadly i couldnt update anymore side i had a virus attack which got also the base files for it. Still, if you wanna download it:

https://gamejolt.com/games/STarVixen/429323

-----

WITH that out of the way i can also go into the other topic that i actually began to work ones again on my game which was now sooooo long on hold: DareDevil 2.

Yes, in the last weeks some stuff was already added so that it comes closer to be finished which is stuff like a working savefile, over half of the ingame-shop and a working credit page. What is missing is for sure still the rest of the shop, a "how do you play" section and, of course, the boss fights.

Here said, i duno STILL when its done mostly because my friend which works on the boss sprites has also a real life :3 (i dont blame him here, im really glad he helps me actually) So i might said easter but i doubt it will be the case but still: i HOPE at least this year for sure since basicaly 85% of the game is for sure ready.

-----

Next up would be the what i would draw this month. I honestly dont have any clues next to, of course, another picture with my easter bunny since we have easter in april, duh.

Else i actually thought to draw again my lesser known characters for ones like my Enderwoman or, "finally", My Spy characters again. I ALSO had in mind to draw another "bunny" picture this month but im not quiet sure yet, so we will see.

-----

ANOTHER fun think i had in mind was actually a small question line for my watchers because i just want to know and, who knows, it might end up in a special picture or something:

What i wanted to know from you guys is actually this :D

- Which character of mine would you like to have as actual friend and why?

- Which character of mine would you like to hangout with/cuddle/play games/similar and, of course, why?

- Which character of mine would you actually like to have "it" (you know what i mean~~~) with and why~?

Here said, of course, you can answer all 3 question with 1 and the same of my characters but than i want a good answer for "why" hehehe ^^

This would be nice to know so i can grain some feedback in a fun way and you guys might end up with a nice picture to enjoy, who knows :D

-----

Thats all for NOW since i have no idea what else to write. Hey im honest at least ok? XD Enjoy ya day, get a cookie, drink some milk, stay save :3

When you work on a game and try to find a "good" sounding "description" for it and come up with this:

"if an 80s arena-shooter arcade game would have fucked an 2010s rogue-like indie game"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2D7qea51I

I mean, for real though. febuary felt like way to short somehow. Of course i know it only has 28 days, duh but it felt like it was just a blink of an eye and it was done and gone...

Oh well, i guess.

With that, Lemmings Month is also over and i had some fun drawing my Lemmings again for sure.

Again, i know some people dont enjoy it if i draw so many Lemmings but im doing it for myself - Like every other flock is going for the newest and latest "Furry" like creatur right now which, so it seems, is right now the new Pokemons or the Kitty from the Kirby game...

I dont wanna say "dont do it guys" because, again, im basicly in the same boat cause i draw Rule 34 art from Spy Vs Spy and Lemmings...but being honest somewhat: We dont even know how such character "behave" and people go on them like crazy. Thats the reason why im not someone who enjoys drawing Krystal and such because i KNOW how they behave - and for sure not like sluts...

I could go on on a rent again here but than in that case i just nod it of because it basicly only shows who has real creativity and who is only following a trend.

And with this i can go to my other topic: Last time i was asking around if i should go and try to make some kind of "rent" comic. Im not quite sure after all. A LOT people told me i should sure give it a try, even more people which i THOUGHT would, but here is the thing about such comics: Yes, i have a LOT ideas i could go on for and try to "rent" about or "use" such rents for a comic stript, the problem is im worried that it could hurt some people in the progress since, AFTER ALL, they are still about a "rent topic" if you know how and WHAT i mean here. i still keep this idea in mind since it might be easier for me to progress such rents in an easier way than actually renting my ass off all the god dang time...

And with that out of the way let me go to another thing i wanna talk about...which seems like for some people the problem of how many "characters" i created and own and use or "used" to draw.

Yes, i know i have a lot characters (funny, some people still want me to create more or draw "other" characters~~~) and its even hard for me to keep them up on a regular base but than you might have to see and understand as followed:

- My "main" characters would be the furry ones, Aka: W.A., James, Black, Faly, Katrin, Shard, Lindia, Amanda and Sonja. Here is the problem the first counted 3 are the Male ones "left" i draw from time to time and, in my opinion, way to less. Its being a HOT minute since i drawn Black last time - James as well and W.A., normally my "main fursona" is basicly used for some naughty pictures and that something i sure wanna change somewhat somehow.

As for the others, those are my Female characters i already try to draw on a good base which you can already see. Of course, there are still people which are like right now "but but but why didnt you draw Sonja so far???" - Yes, its true i didnt draw Sonja in this year and thats the name of the game here: "THIS YEAR". it basicaly just began and i already tried to draw all my said main characters, Sonja didnt made it SO far because Lemmings month jumped in. I sure will draw her so keep your pants on mate.

- As for the Lemmings - or mainly my Lemmings Lady Lemina - Shes another character of mine i sure love to draw since im a gamer and nostalgie fan...and the design i gave her overall is something i like and enjoy. Its a simple design for sure and not everyone "might" enjoy it if i draw some Lemmings Stuff (or lewds) but to be fair, you still have to keep in mind that Lemmings are as big as maybe half of a finger of yours so i basicly cant draw her with other people i counted up "so far" because shes a charcacter which has/uses her "own" universe. Sure i could use a "dumb excuse" and draw her as big as one of my other females bu t logical it makes no sense. So i still keep drawing her from time to time since i LIKE to draw her.

- As about talking "own" universes, i also have my Spy Vs Spy characters Fuse & Ms Fire (god i stil love the fact i made this pun XD). The problem is basicly the same with this 2 as with my Lemmings stuff: They have their own universe and this one is already "VERY Limited" on its own and im not only talking "Colorwise". I wanna try to keep the original "base" they are based on in tact. I KNOW i could draw them in color and other surroundings and like but lets be honest here: Dont you think that would "ruin the flair" somewhat? Again: Spy Vs Spy is a over 60 year old comic series and drawing characters "based" on such is hard without ruining the base. The other problem i mostly have is to come actually up with "ideas" for them because most stuff HAS already been drawn or seens somewhat. Still, the universe is big and i sure come up with something for them.

- As on a side note would be my so said "Side characters" i either draw for special events or similar. Characters like my Easter Bunny, Good Luck Lynx Lady, Bad Luck Kitty, Somber(*) or similar. As i said already, those characters only appier at special times - like the easter bunny which sure gets drawn soon again for this year. The only character which I have in mind is something i enjoy to draw to much from all of them IS my Enderwoman which, i duno why, is just really smooth to draw. I srsly duno but the actual way and design i gave her makes her a character i enjoy to draw, even if im not even that much into Minecraft. So you might see her, next to halloween time, sure drawn from time to time because "why not".

*Somber is a character a lot people still dont get is NOT a character -I- own or created. She is created and owned from a friend of mine and i only have the permissions to draw her and since a lot people, even she, loves to see her around Halloween time, it got basicly an tradition for me to draw her around this time and it "should" stay that way i guess. I could ask the owner to draw her more often, IF wanted though for sure.

So there you have it. I already have a lot characters and im sure there are already some character i either dont draw "anymore" or "less" or were created in the past or similar. Some of said characters either sadly "died out" or "didnt make the cut" because either they were not fitting into the style i draw or were, over all, not really much liked - either by me or my watchers. Im normally not a person which "gives up" on characters but the problem is as i said already that i cant even hold and create MORE characters if im already flood with the ones i TRY to keep. I mean if you think its easy to give each character you own and like to draw an "equal time of shine" - aka equally often drawn - than you can guess why a lot people dont own 20+ characters..because it is literally hell to handle so many characters XD

I mean i dont think now i HAVE 20 characters (but over all im quite sure if i would begin to count up ALL characters i ones created since i began to draw, im sure i would add up to a LOT characters...) but as you saw for yourself, i already have a lot "active" ones to handle.

That...

was now a huge wall of text about THAT topic so let me get only short on the last subject which would be "what am i going to draw over this month?"

Honest here, not quite sure. I got some "redrawn" ideas i might go for and for sure my easter bunny will be in there as well. I got also an idea for my Spy Vs Spy characters but else we will see what i gonna go with soon. :3

So stay tuned and if YOU have thoughts and ideas for and about my characters, feel free to leave a comment because those are sure welcome! :D

EDIT: yea the typos come again. i sure mean RANT and not RENT...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDrzzbBFHvI

Ok a word before i start here. Its the last week of Lemmings month and i sure will keep doing this months stuff as usual, dont worry about "that".

-----

Ok im srs here now. Im a person which is honest. DEEPLY honest.

You saw in my last journal my mind about NFTs already and if you follow me longer, you basicly know what i think about "typical Patreon artists" and other, similar topics like YCHs and "Selling Adopts".

The problem i have is that its not "only" my "opinion" and a lot people feel more or less, yes this is true~, offended if you basicly tell them with honest words how shits going down the drain, literally.

...

Look, i can be an sarcastic asshole if i want to and so i thought "what if i put my rents into a comic series which show what i mean but in a sarcastic matter"?

AKA: If i would go and create such comics, they would literally be super simple, so my guesses, and would literally "brutal tackle" the topic it wants to talk about.

As sample how a comic "could" look like:

ANY 08/15 Artist which might has a name and some place in some community will be sitting on a chair, in the dark, creating a bunch of lazy drawn YCHs and be like "Oh yea baby i gonna be fucking RRIIIICH from all the idiots which pay from this poses i literally just copied out of random magazines muhahahahahahahaahaaaa!" Wile in the next panel, there will be the "hero" (i think it will be a cartoon version from me) which is like "ok lets just wait 3 weeks now till i can use this YCHs pose for free to redraw and reuse it as literal FREE SAMPLE for poses for my characters." and boom. Sarcastic pur~

I duno if you would like it but there is literally so much stuff right now i "COULD" rent about, it was an actual thought i got.

Normally i dont create SO fast a new journal if its either not important or something which kinda freaks me out but lately, the whole internet is basicly fallen into this whole topic so i only think its right that i give my 2 cents to it:

NFTs

For people which doesnt know, i will explain them VERY shortly and easy...

NFT stands for Non-Fungible Token and you can "Basicly" say an NFT explained kinda like this (here said this is a VERY easy and small sample so people understand it):

Imagen i would sell you a ticket with a number from 1-5 on it for, i duno, 5 bucks each. So i have 5 tickets in total with an equal price each. What i do "sell" you is THIS ticket. With this ticket, you can take a "seat" in a seat line. I dont sell you the "seat" but more the "privilege" to sit on one of the 5 seats i sell you the ticket for. Also remember: you can also trade your ticket YOU have with other people, aka sell, which want your "seat". You can sure sell it for what ever you want if you want which is basicly the "core" of NFTs.

Now lets go forward, Lets say i sold you Ticket nr 2, So you can take a sit on the 2nd place in this said seat line. Till now, you would say "why the F should i buy from you a ticket to take a seat right there? Thats dumb." Which it is but lets say, I would hang up infront of EACH SEAT something to look at, like a picture from me or a short animation, would you maybe than buy it~? You might would think now, ok that is worth it but the problem is, basicly, everyone ELSE IN this seat row can see the picture(s) AND everyone outside from it so why should you still buy this "ticket"? This is where the problem comes because i didnt tell you all that but YOU might "think" i dont sell you just the privilege to sit there, you actually think i sell you the picture which "comes" with it...as PLACEHOLDER.

A lot people THINK with NFTs they buy, they get what is "shown" but those are just placeholders.

Yes, you heard it right. If you buy yourself an NFT which shows some art or gif or mostly something similar, that doesnt MEAN youre the owner of said thing. YOU did only buy the PLACE which "identifies" WITH it. So basicly: Youre buying the privilege to take a SEAT INFRONT OF AN placeholder with the worth of, you guessed it, nothing . You dont get the art, you buy a little bitplace on a lobbyline which is worth nothing. Its literally like "buying a place on the moon". The sellers dont have (mostly) the rights to sell it and you will never really own it in the first place.

There IS actually a whole video about what NFTs are and this is really well explained, you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/XwMjPWOailQ

So whats my opinion about it?

In short: Its a brilliant scam but even if it IS brilliant, it is still a scam but people fall for it like flies. They dont get it and the biggest problem, not just people "create" such NFTs, bigger companies DO this shit as well! Mcdonalds, Konami, even YOUTUBE is about to sell those!

So if youre clever, DONT buy those and dont fall for those only because someone told you too, its stupid to do so and sure not worth it to literally buy nothing.

The biggest problem is also that it is basicly SUPER unsave (right now) and a place for art thief which "try" to sell (or in fact "just use") art they dont own...and another bigger problem is that they are artists even from the pages I have accounts on which TRY HARD to sell NFTs for prices which are around 1000 Bucks up to HALF A MILLION! FOR NOTHING! Just think about that for now.

So yea, my opinion is that i just laugh about people which think NFTs is something they need or is the "new boom" or something. If i want myself a beg full of nothing, i go to Ebay and buy myself a pack of WLAN-Cables...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQjvEnY-U-Y