https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVtJGobSZKM

I wanna do myself a small "gift" since my birthday is soon-ish. So i thought i might save some money for a commission.

Heres the twist though...

I have no idea who i should commission.

The thing is:

What i "want" is a drawn picture from my SPIES Fuse & Ms Fire and most people either dont know the origins 60s or, well, dont draw such figures i guess.

So in that case, its more that im looking for someone who would actually "LIKE" to draw them so i dont have to shove it down their spine and "force" them to do something they might only do for money (aka, im really looking for someone who would infact enjoy to draw them rather than just "doing it because money", if the message is more clear :D ).

So if youre intrested, send me a note or leave a comment - or maybe you know a spy vs spy fan and s/he would enjoy to draw them, would be nice to know ^^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QV5p1UmgCA

Being a wile i created a new journal so lets begin with some stuff, shall i?

First of all, As of late here in my house i think i began i trend with nerf guns. Yes, i know, such stuff are of course "kids toys" but as odd as it sounds AND is, its fun here in the house that even the "Workers" began to enjoy such guns. In fact, my friend and me began this trend with some smaller guns, now a lot people in this household srsly want said guns - infact by now we have like 4+ people which got more guns and sure 2 more which already want some. Funny for us, we try also to get bigger ones buuuut right now i lack the money for that ^^; (more about that later) Still, fun to see people enjoy the simple things around here.

Next, yes, Atari from A L L the people began to "enjoy" my games - mostly my "Daredevil" Series and the "+MINUS" remake i made. They enjoy it because of the arcade-ish nature and "the resamblence of the old classic just with enough modern twists to enjoy them even as old-school gamer"

From all the people, Atari enjoys my stuff kinda honors me a bit ^^

I mean, i agree that the +MINUS remake can be really enjoyable for a longer time because of the simple nature and even Daredevil 1, as simple as it is, feels a lot like the classic Berzerk wile Daredevil 2 sure is a great sequal (sadly a lot underrated still (not just my words here)). Even my other, older games like the Spy Vs Spy remake still gets a lot upvotes up to this day since "there was nothing else like that and it captures the gameplay of the 80s classic perfektly".

Said that if you wanna enjoy my games, you can check them out on my Gamejolt or Newgrounds here:

https://gamejolt.com/@WAtheAnum

https://watheanum.newgrounds.com/

AS for "new" games, i do have (at least) 2 in mind i wanna finish someday but right now, i dont find the time for it (mostly because either my art or rl keeps me buzy). SO stay tuned for those.

As for other news, yea, as usual, im living short on money as usual. Its not like that i "waste" my money, infact i try hardcore to save it where i can. I have to think about some stuff or might even offer commissions (I F  W A N T E D). In November, i will have my birthday (6th!) so i try to save up some money.

SAID THAT, yes, Falys Birthday was also yesterday (20th OCT!). SHe had no time for it so far but told me already some "stuff" will follow so if you enjoy her 3D stuff, stay tuned for that in the next days ("hopefully").

Else...

I think im fine?

I duno, i still draw and try to finish this years Halloween pictures - i already have the cosplays in mind and need to finally top it of with our lovely "bad bat"~

I hope i can all finish that and will feel better about my mental state soon ^^; Life kinda sucks a bit right now so...yea, might hope it will be better soon...heh ^^;;;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HqyEfYE8Vw

It actually being a wile i did create a journal and wrote some stuff down.

Being honest with all of you, i got a lot of thinking lately and its also september, by now, which is overall not a "good" time for me. Around this time (very soon in fact...) my dad would have had his birthday if...well... hes did die some years ago and than the fact that just some days after, a good friend of mine died some years ago as well... makes the time for me pretty hard right now.

The last years, i went through a lot shit, being honest with you. like, literally all the last years, i lost either something big OR someone "big" to me.

My father, good friends, my dog, my family home...

That i need a moment for myself around this time is... i think somewhat... you know...

Overall, this stuff keeps right now "nagging" on my motivation and daily work (and similar). as of late, i dont feel well - not because of "im sick/ i have in infection" or something... its more my mental state right now. depression can be a bitch if you wanna call it that way.

I do have some ideas but you might noticed already, art (or my stuff in general) is kinda slow by now so i hope that excuses my "state" right now.

I know, i dont have to tell you guys everything basically since i only do my stuff for me and the people which enjoy it - i still think the ones which DO watch me, follow my stuff and enjoy it should know about.

Next to my mental state, im also worried about my money right now. Yes, its odd to say but as of right now, im r e a l l y running low on my money i even saved up.

I still can get myself food on the table and pay the bills but... yea, thats basically it. Im in dire need of a new mobile phone as for one sample but cant get one new (or even second-hand) one right now since i dont have the money for it - same as for other stuff i dont even wanna mention here.

Next to this, since i "had to" move out of my said lost family home...

I had no contact to my said "rest" of the family, they basically left me sitting here with no help from their side... and its not like i tried to contact my brothers, sister and mother... if it was viva text on mobile or letters, i got no answer so far like they are basically happy that im "where i am" right now, i guess.

This...is kinda depressing being honest... and than that all the other stuff adds up to this "so great" situation... i mean you can see that i might need a "good rest" but than there are my money problems which already let me not sleep well... good i think i need to think about the situation but yea...

I will try to "go and get up" over the next days i guess, as i said i do have ideas for art and even a good game (though if not the said money or time problems) but i have to clear and cheer myself up i guess.

If you wanna help me, again, every comment is welcome - or if you really wanna, i dont beg for that but a donation would be grateful of course. i do have a paypal ( dark120@gmx.net ) or my Ko-Fi ( https://ko-fi.com/watheanum ) if you really help me out with a tip. Not asking for it nor forcing but again, would be helpful of course.

Hope everyone of course has a better time than me right me ^^ Stay tuned :3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwTH-l2p6eI

As for June, it went by pretty fast for me though, we already have july and im like wth.

Well i got some bigger problems "again" with one of my legs but it will heal, i hope.

So health wise, iiiim a bit on the recover side.

ARTwise, i think im save to say im over my artblock.

The small furiotic series will still go strong for some pictures. i still have some poses for it and by now, it basically replaces a super O L D comic idea i ones had.

Fact even, people asked me lately if i would not draw a comic because it suits the characters.

LONG ago, i made one ones already but it was just a lot work - already back than. Thinking about to make a comic N O W with the style AND work i would do right now, it would take a long long time to finish and im not sure if either i would enjoy that nor people if they have to "wait" for me to see what happens next in over a period of months.

THOUGH, as for said old adult comic i ones made, you still can read the old stuff on my FA account where i collected it:

https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/watheanum/folder/325280/LL-Comic-2009-NSFW (again its an ADULT comic)

I got sure some other nice n sexy n cute ideas i will draw as soon as im done with the furiotic series, just saying.

I also got an idea for a new game i might try to work on another day. to leave a HINT:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx-jCiz6XMY

1. Im having a hardcore artblock right now. First of all, it might be because next week it will be the death-date from my dad. the 3rd year in fact and yea, i miss him still a bit. i think it will always hit me hard around this days.

But yea, i have kinda an art block and try not to "force" myself so art might be slow for a wile when ever i "do" get an idea for something to draw.

and

2. Im in need of a new avatar XD

Right now im using a joke avatar from a YT video i found but i dont really wanna stay with it. Im known, as of late, to have one of my Spies as Avatar and it would be nice if someone maybe could do me a new one. animated would be best tbh and of course i would pay some for it (of course, NOT animated wouldnt be bad either just to tell). So if you wanna give it a try OR do know someone who could create me a new one, be my guest!

:3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix3WVxFzW_M

First things first

First, as of right now im not just low on money but my health problems came back. keeping it short as of right now i have some backproblems and actual Lymphedema. Im working on it but this will be a progress to work on.

Next, Im having problems with my mobile phone and i might be of need in donations (the addition that i have to get medicin on a good base and have to pay them makes is also a harder part...) so if youre so free you can always donate me some money viva my ko-fi here: https://ko-fi.com/watheanum

Since this all is happening, im also running low on ideas on what i could draw - hinting said artblock from my other journal already. I do have 1 more idea for the special friday this comming week but than im basically dry. I try to keep some ideas i got already in mind but not to many were useful. might need to take a pause on that, duno yet.

------

And now we miiiiight take a big one, the big one in the room and i have to be honest here.

As of the last years, i think (and at least on DA), i know i had to post something because i had to get something of my chest and it came always out missunderstood and in a wrong way.

I tr to sound right this time and people might will get confused of it but i will explain:

I DONT hate Pridemonth but i do hate the people which "celebrate" it.

I had to get this of my chest because i know some people were always confused from my side of this because i do have friends which are lesbians, gay, trans or bi - I mean best fact is that SL-Faly IS really bisexual and i knew her for a very very VERY long time by now and i dont care what she is or what shes doing in her bed time.

This is the problem - "i dont care".

I dont care of that because why should i? If you have a good time with a male, female or what ever in you bed, why should anyone care, right? This is the thing to many people in pridemonth "do" make a fuzz about, the sexuallity part - but wasnt pridemonth ORIGINALLY made that people with different sexuallity are handled equal? - ALL equal to be fair?

This is the part im talking about.

As of late, "pridemonth" feels not anymore as for what it was used for, that said people with different sexuallities are handled all the same like most peoples standard "hetro" people.

This is something respect because, as i said, i dont care what people are and so should you. Again, who should care what and who they love in their bedtime anyway (well, as long as its not a crime of course)?

But heres the problem

As i said, as of late, pridemonth feels more like a "thing" used like Valentines day for advertising and commercial - rainbow flag everywhere just because, it literally has even no meaning behind it. just "bang" a rainbow flag up and tell the people in your store youre also "pride" and make good advertising.

This...has nothing to do with the origins of pridemonth anymore - and yes, i hate it.

I hate this part because people overdo it - and in germany its worse.

As i said, i do respect people which "DO" fight in pridemonth to be equally handled by the society...

...but why do people over do it "SO" much that people which are hetrosexual feel also somewhat "suppressed"?

Again, Respect for the people which work their asses of to be equally handled by said society but showing their asses around, waving their dicks around or having sex on the streets so "everyone" can see that they indeed ARE "gay" or "Lesbians" or what ever...think about what youre doing there. Do you really think that will add something to your scoreboard other than that you "showed" those "different people" who has "other kind of sex"?

No, seriously, that doesnt help. Not in the slightest - and thats why people WORLD WIDE began to actually hate pridemonth.

As i said, i dont hate pridemonth because, again, everyone should be handled equal and with that said EVERYONE should be handled equal - gay people, lesbians, bi sexuals - even hetrosexuals.

But why it comes that even the sexuallity-flag for hetros is literally...black and white? This feels like a remark, a sign which shows that hetros are monotone, the bad people.

This is what i mean and talk about: If said "pride" people want to be handled equally, shouldnt they also be equal as well to everyone else? How it comes that "we", since im hetrosexual, are marked with a colorless flag if we are all the same people at the end? You love your lover, what else is the differ? the gender? the skincolor? Srsly, why and who should care about that? Arent we all equal at the end?

So why the flag thing? I really feel like, sometimes, i did something wrong BECAUSE im hetrosexual - wile again, i respect everyone with different sexuallity.

I know i did write now a wall of text but than, you have to becareful nowadays what you say because people EASILY missunderstand so ones again:

there is, form my side at least, no problem for me about pridemonth - as long as you do in pridemonth "that" for what it was intentionally "invented", fight for your rights to be equally handled in our nowadays society.

But you use pridemonth only to...

- literally make advertising or commercial business with it

- dont really "fight" for your rights but insteed only "show off" what kind of sex you do normally

- dont really WANT an equally between sexuallities and literally judge every other sexuallity or hetrosexuals only because they are "seen" as "normal people" in nowadays society

- use said month only as weapon for your own problems in nowadays society and blame it on others

Than no, i dont like it.

We are all humans, we should be equally handled, no matter what gender, size, skincolor what ever "borders" you think exists. I dont care.

Im maybe "just" a "stupid" hetrosexual guy now here but again, most friends which are not hetro are with me there. Some even do fight still to be handled equally and i even support them and i hope people understand my opinion there.

SHOULD there still be something wrong or missunderstood, feel free to leave a comment and we can talk it out. Again, im also sorry if there "might" be something written wrong, reminder im german and not perfectly writting/speaking english so i really only hope the said wall of text makes sense.

thanks for understanding and reading.

Well tbh, i run as of late a bit dry of "good" ideas of what i could actually draw.

Sure i could do like evry 08/15 artist and draw some known characters p0rn or similar (yes, judge me i have standards lol)

but im not that kind of artist or creator and im sure people which follow and watch me know what i mean.

Anyways, i dont wanna make a big thing of said artblock but ask of personal ideas. You guys know what stuff i draw so what do YOU wanna liek to see from me drawn? Which character(S)? What situation? Something cute? something sexy? something "more"?

Srsly, leave a comment and i will see what i can do.

JUST BEFORE SOMEONE GOES "that way":

Im asking for ideas what i could draw and not offering "free requests" or something so P L E A S E keep that in mind (infact: when i should ever offer it, i sure know some watchers which should get some first because i for sure know some watch me and support me for years by now - just saying ^^)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfUsl_x6gJQ

Well, April is basically about to end and it was ok for what it was.

- First of, i went sick for 2 weeks which was not so great tbh but was "ok" for what it was. Though, it came of course with the "no motivation" problem and all the stuff we know. So after said weeks, it was still ok.

- I got ideas what i can draw next but went with a small bikini series. After all, its about to be summer and it felt also fitting after the picture with Okami.

- I also got somewhat of idea(s?) for a game or 2. Dont wanna talk to loud about it because its more of a thing i have in mind right now but we will see.

What i lack most right now is the time to do something and, sadly, a bit of money ^^;

I had a big bill this month and im basically broke since 1 1/2 weeks now. I normally dont like to do that but i think if you can donate a bit, now would be the right time for that. I do run a Ko-Fi which you can find here:

https://ko-fi.com/watheanum

Or if you wanna directly send me money viva paypal, dark120@gmx.net is my email to. Its just i need some money to pay said bill aaaaaaaand yea, i have basically no income right now ^^;

Anyways, else, i think the month went great so far. I will end said bikini series soon but will do some "male" part later as well. Though, as i hinted and said, i have some other ideas i wanna draw first.

So stay tuned for that.

OH also, i wanna open some kind of "Q&A" thing because i will soon actually celebrate my 20th ani for my art. So if you have questions, leave a comment or 2. Ask personal, ask my characters, ask SL Faly (yes, she will take part in it as well!), feel free to ask stuff ^^

Okey being honest, the last 2 month i felt that great i did create more art than i normally do - mostly i do around 6-7 pictures a month, last to was like 10 -11 which shows i had legit fun again drawing and in addition i finished a game (+Minus recalculated) and even have some ideas for "Maybe" new games.

Though, i hit a brick wall right now, i dont really have an idea what i could draw "now".

Maybe some redraws? Maybe other poses?

I think here i can say if you have an idea for me what i could draw, leave a comment (with sample would maybe nice or the idea for redrawn pictures) but again, people which watch and follow me know my limit - and saying it here before: im asking for ideas, not doing requests for someone, thanks.

-----

This is now the other part here which i have to say and i thought long about this.

Im really thinking i leave some gallerys/pages of me behind - Mostly im thinking about deviantart.

As of late, DA gets more and more toxic to "actual" artists. they not just promote AI art, they advertise it and makes it feels like that real artists are just a subclass, a species which is about to extinct.

This in fact can be seen by something like this:

https://www.deviantart.com/thecoldtrojan/status-update/Fuck-off-DeviantArt-Fuck-entirely-1036667545

The artist which was promoted here is only 1 year on DA and creates only AI art and made that much money? Yea, sure.

This has sure not something to do with envy but than, DA goes even so far and not just promotes that, they even promote to basically use copyrighted content for that - im serious.

I saw some ads next to my art where people were using copyrighted characters to sell their art - again, a topic i love to tackle anyway if we talk about patreon artist and similar which basically use things and stuff they dont have the rights for but using said things and stuff for their business and making money with it they should not even think about to do in the slightest - and yea, DA promoted that as well.

The scream against AI art is literally everywhere and to finally i should tackle it as well:

AI "art" is not AI "art".

AI art is generated, its not created and thats a huge difference.

I saw people which told me that things like AI stuff is already everywhere but came with samples like "digital art" or "electo music instruments" - those have nothing to do with AI art, those are helping tools.

the differ being:

A tool can be used to "help" something create, like using photoshop TO create art or using a tablet - same with a electric guitar which STILL someone has to USE and actually PLAY.

When "I" and sure others talk about "AI" generated content, they talk about things where a human hand has basically nothing to do with it or barely any touch "to" it.

I have no problem if such things are used if you "fiddle" with it around, create free things or jokes for that. I do know for a fact that not just art can be created with such said AI- programs - but also already Music. I did and still do as well fiddle a bit around with a page which let you GENERATE some fun AI music - but i do that for fun which can be seen here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o17SG49vAI

The thing is, i didnt create it, i let the AI generate that for me and thats again the differ. I might did some lyrics there and SAID how it "should" sound, music, voice and vocals are not done by me but AI and thats the differ and problem a lot artists have:

YOU didnt do it, the AI did.

A lot people dont think about this and that is the problem if people sadly, coming back to the DA sample here, like those people on DA use it to earn money with - they didnt do (barely) anything than maybe adding some Tags to an AI program and might made some AI-fixes to it but nothing else.

Its not art, its soulless and AI created which should answer already another question people asked my opinion about:

DO I think that AI art can replace real artists?

No. I dont think so. The problem is just to many artists DO draw a lot "soulless" art and thats why AI art can sometimes really be confused with real art because both "can" look (scary) similar.

Though, if you see and FIND some artists which DO draw with their emotions and show them in such art than No, AI can not replace such great artists ever.

So yea, comming back to the topic after that rent, i really think i might close down my DA gallery and leave DA behind. I duno when but i think "soonish" tbh. Im not supporting that, even if it might be my longest running gallery i do have in the internet but than, DA nowadays was already slowly turning into a shit show with double standards everywhere like someones art gets banned because there might be some sex to see or a character only slightly aged up WILE if you look on DA for longer, you can find way WAY harder stuff there which exists there already not just for month but Y E A R S and it never ever got taken down whatssoever.

So yea, if you like my art and wanna keep "in touch" with my art and still wanna see it, here is my main page for that where i have all my accounts NEXT to DA:

https://watheanum.carrd.co/

So yea, will i "wipe" my DA gallery if i leave? Lets go with "YES" tbh. Im not supporting AI art if used in the wrong way. i have no problem if you fiddle around with it and use it for fun but if you really think you "created" AI art, news flash, youre wrong and everyone knows that.

Youre not "creating" art, you let an AI which is somewhere on someone ELSES server, GENERATE something which is feeded by a POOL of someone ELSES creations and art to MIX and GENERATE your outcome YOU wanted from ANOTHER ONES CREATED AI someoen ELSE CREATED to DO that FOR YOU generate. You did nothing that said AI generated your art than using your keyboard to type in something like you would do on google, literally nothing else.

peace for now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwfQR_qzMJA

With Febuary done, Lemmings month is over and it was a good month for me, not just artwise but also all the stuff what happend and what i did in there hahaha.

- First of all, said remake/remaster of my Game "+Minus" got 3rd daily place on newgrounds. Its not much but im still glad about it. Its also DONE now and fully playable and enjoyable on Newgrounds and gamejolt :3

- I finished some great pictures from the Lemmings over the month. Nice poses, nice ideas, SFW and NSFW, both went great

- Another Artist took also part in Lemmings month and we both shared some ideas because the artist seem to understand why im doing this at all

And yea, thats "basically" it. Imjust a bit disappointed that only one artist took part into it and not more. Again, i wrote at least 15+ artists but only like 4 responded, at all. Im not mad as i said nor can i force them but at least having the time to say "No" would be one nice thing to do. Its a shame but again, cant force them.

I try Next year again AND earlier for sure. With that said, im also saying this to my followers and watchers everywhere: Youre sure invited to join my silly little Lemmings month to do anything Lemmings relaited ^^

In fact, i do that because of the Fun and for pur jy and nostalgia of the old times.

I do know that not everyone "does" enjoy if i draw only Lemmings or others but again, its for the fun and nostalgia and i enjoy to remind others as well why we should draw - not because we have to, because its mostly fun which let us begin to draw in the first place.

Its mostly a "me" thing so far but already the fact that someone else took part in it (i can link the picture from said artist if wanted! :3) makes me happy - even more because said artist got the message i tried to spread around as well ^^

So yea!

I hope you all had a nice silly little Lemmings Month! We sure see more from Lemina at least when ever i gonna draw her but for now, im gonna back drawing something else of course hahaha!

sty tuned! :D