https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeriY2vYdzw
Maybe "SOMEONE" will notice that since a smaller wile ago i actually didnt draw anything. This has nothing to do with im working on stuff somewhere else or that i have an artblock - its more ...."worse".
Since some days i have an artistical "breakdown".
In other words, i doubt that it is worth drawing or keeping up the way i DO draw my stuff becourse of the lack of feedback and input im getting.
Let me explain:
First and formost, im not talking about fav numbers or viewer numbers. Im talking about INPUT. FEEDBACK, you know? To put the cards more "virsual" on the table:
If i draw my own characters and people which like them tell me its good thats nice but the viewer numbers are kinda low - so the fav numbers (again i dont talk about those but, keep them in mind for that moment). To maybe change that, i could work on my style so i thought or change "here and there" something maybe but over ALL the years of drawing, i dont know anymore
BECOURSE
As soon as i draw a simple picture of ANY known character in this fandom, all known logic for me is thrown out of the window becourse suddendly people like my style and artwork and all numbers rise.
This is my problem.
I dont know what i should do anymore nor if its worth doing what i AM doing.
My "style" cant be wrong if people enjoy it if i draw known characters.
My "characters" cant also be wrong becourse people also enjoy them.
And thats my problem. If i would see something like "this is missing somewhat" or somewhere a HOLE which i could fix, i sure would do it but right now, im not even sure anymore if i go privat and say fuq it i go and draw just for myself from now on - coz of the lack of feedback people are giving me.
Look,
Im not someone who enjoys to play god or change characters "all of a sudden". If you would look at my characters now and back in maybe 5 years, you will notice that the changes are very miror. Maybe i left W.A.s & Falys earrings by side or changed the "fluffyness" of their fur a bit, hairstyle, srsly more or less just smaller changes over the year. I thought it would be good to do so but again, i duno if that IS fine or not - this is of course just a sample but still.
Same with other things: I created at the end of last month a small video about the next project i wanted to work on - guess what, i created said video and stoped working on it coz im unsure about coz of the lack of feedback im getting. I have a LOT plans for the game, like really, i made a whole list - but since i got no good feedback about the stuff i did in the past or what people WOULD enjoy, i doubt its worth working on. I DONT say here i lay it on ice but i just dont really feel like working on it if im honest here - for who? just for me? I dont need to create a game "just" for me.
And thats the same with my art. I sure do it as hobby and i began with it as it is my hobby and my art i do it for me - and i still do - but it feels more and more like that i dont see really a good reason to see what i can do or change or what ever with never any good feed back over 15 YEARS of drawing.
Again, i dont complain about "i wanna get fame, i wanna get this, i wanna get that", what i just want is a honest opinion how people see or enjoy my stuff. "critique" if you wanna call it that way. feedback. I mean if i get no comments or just comments with "this is nice" or "hot" or what ever short-not-helpful-comment it doesnt help me nor other artists in the practical way.
Yes it is nice if you leave such comments but it doesnt give me feedback. is something wrong with my art? what do you wanna see? is the art wrong? is the character wrong? STUFF like that mate.
And...to be VERY honest here...
In the last days...i really thought about to finally throw the towel guys...