https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFhU6U3HR4c

First im a bit sorry if im already a bit to late for my monthly journal but than it doesnt seem like a lot care anyway. With that out of the window...

Well yea,, we are on the final stretch of the year and oh boi, what a year it was, right?

As for plans and stuff whichi had, finished and did NOT finish..and some "future projects"...well

First, i think back in february, the Lemmings month was for me really fun to do even if people gave a crap about it for the most of the time. Next year, i gona do actually the same since 2021, Lemmings actually turn 30 so if that isnt a year for them to celebrate i duno. I like lemmings, yes, judge me for it XD but than, i mean why not? They are cute little characters and even the original creator(s) from Lemmings said they have a lot potentional.

HONEST THING HERE, i was actually about to create a game for the Lemmings month but since my last game i made - and the next would actually be a better sequal to it - with Lemina, namely "Underfoot" - got nearly to no attention or feedback, i hold myself back doing it - mostly i think for the better.

As we got into the topic of "games", there is still Daredevil 2 which im not able to finish. I normaly thought ok i can finish it this year and NORMALY was my intention to finish it at least till my birthday...well i cant and thats a real bummer. What i need is some help from someone who WOULD help me working on game sprites and yes, this is basicly really ALL whats holding me back finishing it. the code is pretty much done, i just need to add the shop, how the bosses work, end screen and maybe a working savefile but else everything is done. weapons are working, enemys are working, powerups are working, title is working, got music and stuff like - JUST this dang boss sprites will hold me bak to finish it which is a bummer tbh.

As for the game i actually began this year, "Dungeon of fear", it still is a bummer that i lost the build since the virus attack i had but i came over it - sure a shame but still.

As for another game i tried to work on it would be "Erowave", an indirect sequal to "Starvixen". Already here i think people dont pay it much attention since "there is no Krystal in the title or like" - I mean if i would build Erowave just like "Starvixen" im sure people would ask me already when it comes out but right now, it seems more like people shrug it off than anything else.

The idea behind Erowave is already a thing i had in mind since eastertime this year but i didnt began with the work since i need, again, help from Faly Breen which has this year a very bad year so it seems.

Money wise she was able to barely effort gifts for Xmas this year (so at least she told me) and she is right now unemploied coz of the Covid-19 situation.

Said that, the calendar she created for next year gets again BARELY any attention. Yes, you have to pay for it but, again, its "just" 5 bucks. how many of you support a artist ALL THE TIME on patreon and pay EVERY MONTH there 5 bucks, just said here. The calendar would only be at least 5 bucks ONES and, as for it is, Faly put really a lot effort into it.

And you wanna hear how low attention the calendar got so far? Its only sold ONES so far. O.N.E.S.

So maybe you can read it already that this year was sure kinda fun to do since i tried to get myself (and others) busy but it seems like all the effort went into limbo, not worth the effort after all. I really play more and more with the idea to give up and "give a crap" about it. I mean, today i uploaded on FA a new ID which pretty much shows how i feel as well since i try to do something "on my own" put the mainstream of people do the thing they always do and just put out the usual stuff EVERYONE is doing. Im getting not only tired of it but slowly grow sick of it. I even thought about to "unwatch" some people because it seems like even those i watch tend to draw and use only known characters. Do you know how sick im getting if you see like a picture from krystal like 8 times a day? I mean, if you follow my new ID i uploaded on FA, i would have make over 100 bucks already, JUST for today.

Anyways, im sorry that i rented there a bit but it had to be said. I still wish you all a good winter and xmas (or what ever youre celebrating) time this year. I just wish i could do and help more but i feel like all im doing, all the effort ends in limbo anyway.