https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deR1B-bAwBo

Since some months, i didnt talk much. I normally write like every month a longer journal about my "situation" and "what i am doing".

The problem is...since months now, the situation i am here at the moment isnt..."good".

- It began around mid june where my mom went to hospital and came back from it after being a week in there. Shes now in need of nursing staff/persons. The come now over here 2 times a day but barely do anything if im honest - so im basically playing the said nursing person as well for my mom...which i cant do. Im not a person which learned such stuff nor am i mental "able" to do that which creates a lot stress for me - in fact, in the last weeks i had a lot blackouts and felt pretty much "left alone" from my so called "big family" aka my brothers and sisters...

- As of late, im now getting myself, so i hope, some help for myself. Someone which "knows how to handle such situations" will come now every ones in a week to our home and helps me (and the situation as whole) to handle this situation better. Again, it creates to much stress for me that i barely have time to actually relax.

- As for the last DAYS, i actually feel sick and now, im worried it actually COULD be corona...because my brother came back from work today and was actually ORDERD to test himself. hes dizzy, has some fever and hes caughing because of so much snort - like me. The problem is: I dont know were i got it from nor he does (he doesnt live with us adding that here and i barely leave the house because i have to help my mom). So i hope i will feel better soon...

With that said, i will try to come back with art soon "somewhat". Its not that i dont want to draw anything anymore but you have to know that i have to "feel well" for it. I mostly only, if i have the time for, sit here and play a bit to get my mind somewhere else - gladly some friends help me with that.

but than there is another thing...

Our Dog, Timmi, will tomorrow walk is last walk. He got old but as of the last days, he stopped eating and drinks only barely something. He is barely able to walk anymore and if i actually have to help him with stairs and like - even breathing is barely doable for him so that i had to call an animal doctor today which is able to do "this job", sadly. He was a good dog and right now, we give him some good last hours...

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So here said: i cant promisse anything here right now. I might even take a break (could be short, could be long) from art for a wile since the situation im in right now is not really good...I HAVE already one picture in WIP, which i might finish soon, but than that might be it for a wile, no promisses given here...

Just wish me some luck please that all will turn out well at the end...i hate to have always this fucking pain...