Some days ago Krezz Karavan, a good friend from a friend (and a known Furry artist for the fandom so it seems) passed away. Right now, i try to help a good old friend of mine to spread the word.

So if you are so kind, please help and go here:

https://inkbunny.net/j/455873-bbmbbf-krezz-karavan-gofundme-campaing

...Are people getting stupid or grown idiotic?

Like, everyone forsaw this. EVERYONE knew that Diablo immortal will suck and will be riddled with microtransactions - And the moment the game came out 2 weeks ago, we all were right because it IS how people predicted it.

But guess what.

"Diablo Immortal Has Reportedly Made $24 Million on Mobile in Its First Two Weeks"

https://www.mmorpg.com/news/diablo-immortal-has-reportedly-made-24-million-on-mobile-in-its-first-two-weeks-2000125316

Yes. It seems like people still complain about the game but basically put money into it anyway...

...Do you guys know what double standards even ARE? It means you complain about something but do it basically ANYWAY. As sample, if people complain about how bad Diablo Immortal -IS- and that its all to expensive and riddled with microtransaction you just CANT be that foolish and PLAY the game AND put THOUSENDS of dollars IN.SAID.GAME.

Sometimes, i can srsly only smash my head on the table if you read stuff like that...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5i2Wa7daDA

Well before its to late, May is over and we are now already days into June.

As for Art

The Cow-Bikini series is so far done but i already asked people on my last picture if they wanna see more so i ask here clearly again - so PLEASE leave a comment about - do you want me to keep going with some of my other Females in the series or not?

As for other ideas, right now i work on one i got from a Friend - infact he was also helping me with the later Cow bikini designs you saw on Amanda and Sonja. Hes helping me out also with some nice ideas and i already got some ideas collected for this years Halloween cosplays! X3

Else, what can i say, as of right now im in need of some ideas but im sure i will find some or even get some heh, at least as for drawing stuff. WITH THAT SAID: People also asked me if i would do commissions and im just not sure because, does someone really want me to draw his/her character? :o i mean sure, why not but who would (if you know how i mean it) AND, do you think those sample prices would still be "ok"?

https://d.furaffinity.net/art/watheanum/1610059647/1610058930.watheanum_commissiontry.png

(i might just change them and make them a flat 30-35 bucks or something - not sure)

Else as of late people also poked me i should "value" myself a bit more and might open a patreon or similar since im talk about it so much but complain about the people which just use copyrighted stuff.

I mean it is indeed true that i hate it if people use patreon (or similar) for something they basically just "rape" to earn some bucks (aka not their own creations) but that "I" am already that worth to open a patreon...i think im not and than, again, i dont offer "exclusive" art or would do this "i post patreon x months later". im a person which hates the word "exclusive" anyway because it forces you to do something most people dont like. So if you REALLY wanna support me, which sure would be nice, remember you could always give me shinies on FA or viva my KO-FI.

https://ko-fi.com/watheanum

It would help me a lot, mostly with my medical problems, to pay some stuff i need. And EVEN if i "should" go so far and open a patreon one day, again, i would use it more like an "tipjar". I hate to create exclusives, i hate to use my passion for art i have and turn it into something which might ends up not loving but hating art in general because what im used to is drawing art for myself, as hobby, to keep me calm and relaxed and not to turn this passion into a "job"-like status which might ruins the said passion i have and turns it into "hate" for it - yea, this sounds complex but imagen you do something because you LOVE doing it but now, youre forced to do what you love. This will differ your behaivor and will show in what youre doing. Again, as of right now, i dont do art for a living but as hobby. If i would do it for a living, things would differ, a lot.

So again: supporting me with comments and feedback is always welcome and if you wanna do it with some spare money, again, possabilities are there :3

Else, as of right now im ok. nothing to fancy to talk about only the fact that this month, my dad will be now good since 1 year...gosh...time flies by fast...

Stay tuned guys!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deR1B-bAwBo

It doesnt surprise me anymore that if you talk honesty to some people they dont respont anymore but just block you only because of the fear that what people might leave on their page as comment is true.

The biggest grind is also the fact that i cant "name" them because it would be name-shaming and for a lot pages im on its a no-go and that even proofs more my point of people enjoying thier anonymity a bit to much, at least in "this cases" if you wanna talk about someone but cant name them, if you got that.

So said here, i dont wanna rage myself into a mess but i try to keep it short. I got blocked by 2 "super nice" artists for making hints or telling the dark truth in their faces:

- Using stuff you dont own or nor have the rights for using them is bad. People dont support -you- for -your- art but because you keep drawing something they wanna see - a copyrighted characters ass n titis.

This is a long running thing already and im sure people which watch me will be like "here we go again" because even im growing sick of it but this week, i got basically blocked for mentioning that the artist...lets call him "mr R", should stop using copyrighted characters for his own but could insteed use its own creations because im sure he has the knowledge of it - nah, i got blocked without a word. This shows me only that some patreon artists doesnt "want" to create their own stuff but only milk the newest characters till the last drop. Im 100% sure everone knows which characters i DO mean and i dont need to name samples or artists - again even if i would, its name-shaming again so i dont.

- A lot people struggle in life to get or earn money to survive or even pay for a sudden bigger "event" which sadly (for the most part) happend in their life wile other artists begging here for money just to get one of its ocs drawn in a...lets say "special way".

Yes, this is something i also dont like but people wink it of that people like me are just "envy" or similar. Let me use a sample, a personal.

Last year, my father died. i was, and still am, in a bad situation which basically breaks my mental health to a limit and my pysical health is basically "non existend" - at least at this point. Earning money "in this state" is basically not possible - just go out and ask for someone for a job with basically pysical problems which go so far that you would just kill yourself for standing in the wrong place. Im sure you will get a job super fast~

So that i basically was asking for money to pay for my dads funeral was a no-go for me but i had to - and before this sounds wrong here, guys, im still happy people helped me out for every single euro i got. Srsly, at the end i was literally crying that i basically sold myself in the internet and went that deep that i actually "begged" people to get money. Sure, it was a thing to understand, i had to pay a funeral and i sure had not the money for it...but than at the other end of the pages you have accounts on you see people, opening a donation to get their fucking OCs preggo for 2.000 Bucks.

I hope someone can understand the frustration level there. Some people went BALLS deep to actually even "thinking" to beg for money because they are in real need of it...wile other people go this mile i guess...

Be 100% legit here: Who would you help?

Someone who really needs your money for something really really important

Or porn?

Be 100% legit here because im sure a lot would go for the porn.

Anyway. As i said before i dont wanna go into this to deep but only wanted you guys to share my thoughts of the week. It feels more and more like that im right to say im glad im not part of this fandom because of this shit. I cant "blame" all and everyone for this 2 ones but than again, im sure they are a lot more which would do 100% the same to someone "like me", who might has not a big name on its tag but sure a long history to write - which, at this point, i might even have the will to write down but than, name shaming will be a thing for sure since i hate it to put a leaf infront of my mouth only to kneel down and obey the fake-masquarade a lot pages and this so called "furry fandom" (for the most pages im on) is playing...its getting really sick and im sick of it anyway.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/586403097106972672/979521054101889225/unknown.png

*A friend of mine to wile we had a conversation about "most patreon artists" and i said*

Me: you know, most patreon artist relays on the creativity of other, mostly smaller artists. i mean those are the ones which create the stuff they use to earn money.

My Friend: Wow wow wow. You cant say that. I mean if you go saying it THAT way, it would be the same if i say homosexual relays on hetrosexual people because they cant reproduce and need those for their base to exist.

Me: *just waiting there in silence*

My Friend: ...wait...

XD we had a good day i guess

I dont wanna point fingers here but the problem is i kinda use some only as samples just to see how stupid and idiotic the literal double standards of the page is - again, no hate against the creators of said or shown stuff but it feels like if someone "else" does that, stuff gets taken down by the mods and admins WHICH is right to do so because youre using something which is against the rules but than, if you look around, a lot people STILL dont care and upload it - and it STAYS on Newgrounds.

SO yea, about that...

"Dont use copyrighted music or we get the stuff you uploaded down from here!"

About that...

"Dont upload screenshots!" (here said i tried to upload myself some and they got deleted so i know what im talking about)

Just look for "Secondlife" here as ONE sample and viola~

https://www.newgrounds.com/search/conduct/art?sort=date-desc&suitabilities=etma&terms=secondlife

A hole bunch of pictures from Secondlife...

Again, those are just some samples but this literally feels like a fucking double standard. You cant take stuff down just from SOME people and from other people, it stays for the same fucking reason the other persons stuff got taken down.

This is called a double standard ffs. Stop this bullshit. If its in the rules and against it, it should be taken down - everyone on this page should be handled equally and has the same rules to obey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL_XuIbRUEY

Ok im honest here, April was a month which went horrible for me, at least for myself as in here at my place. I dont wanna here begin with a long wall of text "already" but people which MIGHT remember the "ID post" i made on my FA account saw that i was really so down that, in other words, wouldnt be sitting here writting. Yes, i was actually "that close" to end it all since i couldnt take jackshit anymore. They were days in April where i was sitting on my bed and asked myself "why" at all. In "why" do i even exist anymore or similar questions.

I tried to come back up at least a little bid and now i feel slightly better - at least over all im a bit more happy and relaxed but still not over the hill with this crap.

But i try to get my head elsewhere with my drawings or doing some work on other stuff, like my games as for one good sample.

With that in mind, last month i did already create a smaller, new game just for easter to enjoy - namely "Fly-Attack" which is a homage to "Gnat-Attack" from the good old Mario Paint. I enjoyed working on this game tbh and its still a fun timewaster. In fact, i thought about to updated ones again this month with new flies to swatt heh. I already got some ideas for new flies so stay tuned if you enjoy this game.

As for another game, i created finally something like a preview trailer for Daredevil 2 which you can check out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehhpKRll-k4

I tried to work on this one as well but have still to wait for some sprite art for the bosses. It still comes along pretty good and now, nearly the shop is done as well and a working savestate is also there. the problem is as always "when it will be done", i duno but i still enjoy how far it went heh.

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As for other stuff, here said i know that April was really an oddball for my artwork overall since i barely really drawn characters im more known for or pretty much nearly none of my "usual" characters. Sure i drawn some but like none of my fluffy furry girls (ex. Faly) didnt make it this month. To be honest, i needed a change of pace and it helped me to calm and work on my design for most characters - overall i still drawn sure some pictures people enjoy and some of my "lesser drawn characters". That said, i noticed some people want me to come back with more Spy Vs Spy art which is true, i dont draw much of as right now. Its not that i dont want to, more the fact that i need "fitting" ideas for them so here said: Ideas for my said Spy Vs Spy characters are sure welcome and would bring them back for sure.

As for SAID ideas i have which i could draw is maybe a Bikini series? I mean my idea letter is kinda "empty" since all i wanted to draw is now done - last on the list was the bad luck kitty (and that i think about some Spy Vs Spy ideas) X3

So yea, duno! We will see i guess.

as for my health, i still have my wound on my leg but i bandage it so its not that terrible anymore and feels better. It might will never really heal 100% but at least i try to take care about it more (tbh, since the beginning of this year i try to and i try better things which work different. my doc also couldnt do much different stuff than just banadge it so yea, now i do it myself). So we will see how that works out.

As for how all stuff is...

As i said, i still have my moments but i try to come over them. Its nice that i found some new friends viva an old friend of mine already which are nice to talk to. It also seems they like my art and told me im "way to underrated". I mean, again, i never say im a "super good artist" or something but if i think about i draw now over 17 years...heh, i think im doing good so if you enjoy what im doing im happy but always remember, comments, critique and feedback is always welcome. :D

Well i guess i can again just sign and begin another "short" vent here. Yes, its just a short one because i dont have much to write about it and it will basically explain itself.

I mean, lately, it feels like A LOT artists went into the theretory of draw "deformed" female characters which look like "Bimbos" and, basically, have a HUGE deformed and WAY to big ass and, for the most part, way to big breasts.

IF you need a sample what im talking abou, go with something like this just drawn:

https://palegirlproductions.files.wordpress.com/2019/03/sking_.-katena-2019-hd-bimbo.png

The problem is not that "people have different kinks than you" and "youre just shaming them now", No...this is not the problem or "main" problem i have with this.

The REAL problem is: IF they go into NSFW theretory with this characters, THEY DONT DO SHIT with "WHAT" they have!

WHY the FUCK do i give a character TITS BIGGER THAN THEIR HEAD IF YOU DONT DO SHIT WITH THOSE???

Its not the fact that people actually "enjoy" this shit but more the fact that the creators of SUCH character basically dont even USE "what" the characters have - SO WHY THE FUCK EVEN DRAWING THEM THIS WAY?

Srsly, how do this characters even "define" gravity? How the fuck do they live? And dont come with "oh they are just drawn" FUCK that, they are created so you can fondle your DICK in your hands so there SHOULD be a reason to ask this shit.

God dang it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk2v3HxbMAI

Well march is over and we head now to april, easter month and here said i have some important stuff to say:

A bit ago it seems like gamejolt from ALL the places changed their TOS as for "what" kind of games you will be able to download there - In short, they listed my 3 adult games "privat" so i from what i know is that noone can see them if they are not directly linked to them - next to this thier pages WILL be deleted ones and for all at the end of this year, making the games not more downloadable in the slightest because they will be deleted.

So in case you STILL want my games - and in hope the links still work - i link to you the 3 games i made:

- SPACE HUNT

You can still play it on my Newgrounds just in case but if you wanna a downloadable version:

https://gamejolt.com/games/Space-Hunt/639951

- Shade Runner

The first of all games i made in this kind, it was a bonus game i made for the furiotic pack as extra ones - maybe you remember. Still, you can get it here:

https://gamejolt.com/games/Shade-runner/383341

- StarVixen

The one which got the most love and attention since it is actually a pretty nice shooter i ones made - sadly i couldnt update anymore side i had a virus attack which got also the base files for it. Still, if you wanna download it:

https://gamejolt.com/games/STarVixen/429323

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WITH that out of the way i can also go into the other topic that i actually began to work ones again on my game which was now sooooo long on hold: DareDevil 2.

Yes, in the last weeks some stuff was already added so that it comes closer to be finished which is stuff like a working savefile, over half of the ingame-shop and a working credit page. What is missing is for sure still the rest of the shop, a "how do you play" section and, of course, the boss fights.

Here said, i duno STILL when its done mostly because my friend which works on the boss sprites has also a real life :3 (i dont blame him here, im really glad he helps me actually) So i might said easter but i doubt it will be the case but still: i HOPE at least this year for sure since basicaly 85% of the game is for sure ready.

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Next up would be the what i would draw this month. I honestly dont have any clues next to, of course, another picture with my easter bunny since we have easter in april, duh.

Else i actually thought to draw again my lesser known characters for ones like my Enderwoman or, "finally", My Spy characters again. I ALSO had in mind to draw another "bunny" picture this month but im not quiet sure yet, so we will see.

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ANOTHER fun think i had in mind was actually a small question line for my watchers because i just want to know and, who knows, it might end up in a special picture or something:

What i wanted to know from you guys is actually this :D

- Which character of mine would you like to have as actual friend and why?

- Which character of mine would you like to hangout with/cuddle/play games/similar and, of course, why?

- Which character of mine would you actually like to have "it" (you know what i mean~~~) with and why~?

Here said, of course, you can answer all 3 question with 1 and the same of my characters but than i want a good answer for "why" hehehe ^^

This would be nice to know so i can grain some feedback in a fun way and you guys might end up with a nice picture to enjoy, who knows :D

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Thats all for NOW since i have no idea what else to write. Hey im honest at least ok? XD Enjoy ya day, get a cookie, drink some milk, stay save :3

When you work on a game and try to find a "good" sounding "description" for it and come up with this:

"if an 80s arena-shooter arcade game would have fucked an 2010s rogue-like indie game"